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    Studio 35’s Halloween Lineup

    This post is part 1 of 6. Its subject is Studio 35 itself.

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    Studio 35 Halloween Movie Lineup

    See www.Studio35.com for more details!

    Featuring the reviews of:

    Warning! This review uses the pretentious “theatre” spelling of “theater!”

    When I was told I would be sent to review an eight-hour long movie marathon, I got really excited. Not about the chance to watch semi-rare horror movies on the big screen. Not about being forced to do what I love–namely writing a review that I’d otherwise be too lazy or too content to write. Not even about the chance to get out of my filthy bachelor-ridden apartment’s stale air for eight hours, and into a theatre’s stale air for eight hours.

    No, as usual, I got really excited about something really stupid.

    Because the marathon was to be held Friday night and Walker wanted a review written by Sunday afternoon, I was to be working on a tight schedule, and Walker offered to do the images for me. Immediately I jumped on this one-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a legitimate graphic artist to illuminate my written works.

    JimL2, in an email, wrote “I want an image of Peter Jackson smoking a bong with the word ‘trenchcoat’ on it!!!”

    Walker immediately retracted his offer, and I later made this image by myself:

    Now I’m sure at this point, some of you are confused. It’s certainly a confusing image. This is where I’d typically like to explain some complicated and convoluted pun or short story about Peter Jackson and why, exactly, he’d be smoking a bong labelled “trenchcoat.”

    Unfortunately, I don’t have any answers for you. By the time I’d finished making it, I had completely forgotten what I thought it would contribute to this article. And that follows a pattern laid down by the entire night at Studio 35: My expectations were exceeded again, and again, and again.

    Studio 35 itself is located on Indianola Avenue, near Midgard, to the north of the city core. Technically it’s situated inside of Clintonville, and their advertisement is rightly proud of the fact that they’ve been “Serving Clintonville for Over 60 Years.” In fact, next year will be their 70th anniversary in the same location, and the building shows it.

    Built at a time when Hollywood was producing few, quality movies, the single screen at Studio 35 was perfect. And even today, while Hollywood is churning out hundreds of shitty movies a year, the single screen is an idea that makes sense. Because Studio 35 can only show ~6-8 movies a day, they have to be really excited about those six to eight movies. From talking to the employees, everyone who works there knows movies. So you can be assured that if it’s playing at Studio 35, it’s worth seeing. It may not be your type of movie, but it’s still going to be well-made.

    Although Studio 35 has stood for 69 years, the building itself has changed very little. The exterior is squat and fraught with the design baroque that necessarily adorned movie houses during the period that Charlie Chaplin was still making movies. If you aren’t looking carefully, you could easily drive right past it. The only thing that sets it apart from its neighbors are its flashing lights and adorable marquee. And let’s face it; any more, audience don’t immediately connect that with the idea of a movie theatre.

    Inside the lobby, there is a photograph of the theatre’s interior as it once stood: Subtle art deco design on the walls, comfortable red chairs in rows, and murals displaying the potential grandeur of Film on the walls. Today, however, the theatre seating area tells a much different story, with its subtle art deco design on the walls, comfortable red chairs in rows, and murals displaying the potential grandeur of Film on the walls.

    Alright, I lied in that last paragraph. Sorry. The reason the current owners of Studio 35 are able to proudly display that photograph of their heritage is that they still follow it, and revere it. The paint on the walls is somewhat work–just enough to give the theatre “cred”–and the murals have been repainted in the recent past with more subdued versions. However, the surrounding is still beautiful and one-of-a-kind in this interchangeable plastic world, and the seats–while new–are still comfortable, red faux leather, with the modern addition of large cupholders in every armrest.

    Also adorning the lobby are three stand-up arcade games: Rampage, Centipede, and Ms. Pac-Man. This won me instant love, although my reviewing duties prevented me from dropping any quarters. The Rampage machine is currently either out of order or unplugged, but as the thrust of this article is about cinema part of this cinema, that’s really not something that should concern you. There is also a comfortable (very comfortable) red faux-leather couch, coffee table with industry magazines, cork board supporting local businesses, and snack bar.

    I’d like to mention that couch again before I move on to the snack bar, because I think it really represents what Studio 35 is about. There is no real reason for that couch to be there. They could have simply thrown a poster up, or some retro stuff, and pushed people into their seats. After all, the movies nowadays seem to be about maximizing turnover. However, Studio 35 seems honestly concerned that their patrons are happy and comfortable in every way from the get-go. It’s a small detail, but one that I believe speaks volumes about Studio 35’s integrity and love of what it does.

    Now, on to the snack bar. Blah blah popcorn, blah blah candy. Standard stuff. While I’ve seen some small theatres slam their customers on snacks, Studio 35’s are about in line with their big-box counterparts. $3.00 for a liter of Frostop is pretty expensive, sure.

    But it’s nothing to be surprised at in this day and age, and let’s face it, moviegoers are a captive audience. Studio 35 could easily charge twice that.

    What makes the snack bar interesting is that–if you’ve ever noticed their banner ads at the top of ColumbusUndergound (notice of fairness: The author of this review receives no money from ColumbusUnderground or any of its owners and in fact has a tense hate-hate relationship with Walker and should in no way be considered to be influenced by advertisers on this site)–they are a “drafthouse.” That means they serve beer. Not just beer, but nice beer. High-quality beer. You can go in there expecting hard cider, a framboise lambic, a handful of porters and ales, and even Pabst Blue Ribbon if you’re a Philistine like I am. This is an idea that is most associated with the venerable Alamo Drafthouse of Austin (whether correct or not), but it’s really an idea that just makes sense. An independent movie theatre that also sells draught beer? Gee, is that a good idea? Hmm, combining two awesome things to make something that’s even more awesome? Absolute no-brainer.

    The “drafthouse” idea really comes in handy when you have a no-brainer of a movie, as well. As in, the movie requires no brain to watch, and may in fact have been created by a talented team of Hollywood technicians who, were you to take a quick survey, would not (per capita) have two brain cells to rub together.

    An idiotic explosion-fest where the storyline is pre-fab, and can easily be loaded up with cheap scares and unassailable moral actors. A movie like, say, Resident Evil: Extinction.

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    Jim Lauwers
    Jim Lauwers
    Jim's illustrious career in sleeping through deadlines has included such honors as 'academic probation,' 'an angry text message from an ex-girlfriend,' and 'an unfinished 45-page report on the kulturkreis of midwestern anime conventions as reported by a self-hating drunk.'
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