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Ohio’s Own: Grumpy Goat Chocolate Dope

Miriam Bowers Abbott Miriam Bowers Abbott Ohio’s Own: Grumpy Goat Chocolate Dope
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Edible products with catchy labels are a personal weakness. There are lots of times when a fantastic label on a product can justify a few extra bucks at the cash register. It’s an art form.

So when something called Grumpy Goat Chocolate Dope fairly jumps off the shelf into the basket, it feels like a huge shopping victory, even at $9.99.

It’s a nice little glass jar (a 13.5oz glass jar, to be exact), with a crisp black and white label depicting a big goat whose body is comprised by the letters of the product name. And it’s not just Grumpy Goat Chocolate Dope, it also has the words “Spoon Fudge” on the label.

Fudge that can be eaten unapologetically with a spoon, straight from the jar: most brilliant marketing ever.

Inside the bottle is chocolate sauce, which is a familiar entity. This is particularly good chocolate sauce, though. It’s more than just cute marketing. The best way to understand it is to compare it to something like a Smucker’s chocolate sauce. First, Grumpy Goat is milk chocolate colored; not a deeper, disturbingly dark hue.

More than color, what tasters have appreciated is its texture.

It’s not gloppy. You may have noticed how big cheap chocolate sauces have a gloppy elasticity to them. In contrast, the goat stuff, although really thick at room temperature, melts in the mouth. Like any chocolate sauce, it’s pourable after a few seconds in the microwave.

Grumpy Goat Chocolate Dope is probably best suited for ice cream — the label mentions that as a use. It also mentions “spreading, topping & dipping.” The selling point from a personal perspective was the spoon concept. For those who go-for-it, it would probably be difficult to finish off the entire jar in one sitting. But, if you did spoon all the way to the end, the nutrition information says the whole jar would have about 1300 calories: less than dinner at The Cheesecake Factory.

And it’s made in Westerville, so it’s local too. It makes for one sweet holiday season around here.

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