When you’re in a pickle, the natural move is down the quickest, most straightforward path: “How do I stop dealing with this sooner?” The chosen answer is typically the simplest.
Writing personally, this is the downfall of Millennials (and likely, future generations). Oh, we can whine about the articles, think pieces and tangents that come out against us. But, if nothing else, we’re impatient. Toe-tapping and phone gazing while we wait in the grocery line; questioning the overall validity of technology each time the page takes an extra 5 seconds to load.
So, what happens when your friends cancel, and you end up with enough spaghetti to feed every person who’s ever written a think piece on Millennials? The most common wrong solution turns out to be the garbage disposal.
The practice is pretty much the equivalent of trying to put pasta down a regular sink: it gets clogged. The disposal adds an extra step, first grinding the noodles to a paste before it becomes an impediment. The starchy mush is sticky, and it’ll expand as more water enters the trap. After a few days, it’ll likely develop an off-putting smell as other foods land on top.
Just put it in the trash — or tupperware. Who throws away perfectly good spaghetti? — and take the trash out to the dumpster. It’s a little more effort, and might even require shoes, but your sink and plumber will thank you for it.
Pasta, peels, grease, pits and rice: all things that should avoid the garbage disposal. Imagine how the object would look after going in a blender. If it’s a substance that’s easily passible, like soup, cereal, mashed potatoes and oatmeal, it’ll be easily pulverized and pushed out of the system. If it’s a substance that can build up or break apart into uneven pieces, opt for the trashcan. When in doubt, consult the internet.
There are plenty of search results that’ll make you think better about flushing belly-up Goldie the Goldfish down the toilet, or using dish soap as detergent in a pinch. Here is a condensed guide for reference. Should you find yourself in a pickle, whatever you do, don’t put that there:
Garbage Disposal
- Egg shells
- Bones
- Pits
- Seeds
- Cores
- Leafy greens
- Coffee grounds
Tip: check for utensils before flipping the switch, as the disposal will chew them up — loudly.
Toilet
- Baby wipes (unless they say flushable)
- Condoms
- Paper towels
- Floss
- Prescription pills
- Animals or animal parts
- Hair
- Cigarette butts
- Tampons
Tip: consider what would break apart in water, not what might fit down the hole.
Microwave
- Paper bags
- Styrofoam
- Eggs
- Plastic (unless marked microwave safe)
- Aluminum foil
- Cookware or mugs with a metal rim
- Yogurt containers
- Fruit (particularly grapes, which will explode)
- Hot peppers
- Nothing
Tip: microwaves rapidly generate heat and can easily make items, like potatoes without holes, explode.
Washing machine
- Running shoes
- Flammable stains
- Underwired bras
- Too much laundry
- Too little laundry
- Excessive detergent
- Dish soap
- Tiny items
Tip: always check the clothing tag for washing and drying instructions.
Dishwasher
- Cast iron skillet
- Wooden utensils or cutting boards
- Insulated mugs
- Aluminum cookware
- Plastic items (unless marked dishwasher safe)
- Knives
- Nonstick cookware
Know the do’s and don’t’s of your home appliances; it’ll end up saving time that would be spent calling the plumber for making avocado toast, taking selfies for Instagram and any other Millennial stereotype out there.
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