Press Release:
Mikey’s Late Night Slice is moving up and in a big way. The Columbus-based restaurant concept has signed a 50 year lease to take over the capital city’s largest available retail space; the recently-vacated, two-story Dicks Sporting Goods at Easton Market, just west of Easton Towne Center. At a staggering 80,000 square feet, the move is ambitious to say the least. In fact, the new”Wonka-esque” pizza Complex will be the largest single restaurant in the United States and the second largest in the world, behind the Damascus Gate Restaurant in Syria.
“We need more destination dining options in Columbus,” says owner Mikey Sorboro. “I wanted to build not just a concession stand for drunks, but a giant concession stand for drunks… and sober adults and children and drunk children. We’re obviously not going to be serving alcohol to children, but if they come in drunk we’ll have a special area for them to play, eat and sober up.”
The massive restaurant will also feature interactive areas where patrons can immerse themselves in the world of pizza. One of the most anticipated areas of the vast complex is the Food Truck Race Track where riders will race a 25 year-old step van around and try to keep it from breaking down. There will be a Garlic Sauce Lazy River with swim-up bar that will meander throughout the complex and even a climbing wall that will challenge climbers to work for their meal.
“The climbing wall (left from Dick’s) was too expensive to remove,” said partner Jason Biundo. “It was cheaper to just put an oven at the top and warm up slices for hungry climbers.”
“I’m most excited about the Pizza Time Theater and mosh pit,” says Owner Bryce Ungerott. “The animatronics were found at an abandoned Showbiz Pizza Place from somewhere near Westland Mall. The place had been boarded up for 30 years. No one knew it was there!”
They even managed to salvage the huge purple gorilla that sings Elvis tunes.
“We’re looking forward to terrifying an entire new generation of children with these characters,” he continued. “Picture Chucky Cheese but on a near lethal dose of gender-altering steroids.”
Harking back to Columbus’ themed restaurants of yesteryear — think Kahiki but with pizza — the expansive restaurant will have something for everyone, including those with gluten sensitivities. The group plans a Gluten Free Daycare area where groups can drop off their friends or family members with those annoying dietary restrictions in an area free from fun, flavor and most importantly, gluten contamination. The area will also be sound-proofed so normal diners won’t have to hear about how much better they feel since the switch.
The price tag for this venture is nothing short of immense as well. The group estimates the project to come in at a whooping $27.5 million.
“Money Shmoney,” says Sorboro. “We got that YUM Brands money, Dawg!” referring to the group being bought by YUM Brands two years ago at about this time.
Don’t miss the next news update! Subscribe to CU via email for news in your inbox: