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    April Fools Day: DeWine and Taylor to Debate in WWE Cage Match

    After months of attempting to debate, gubernatorial hopeful Mary Taylor will finally get her wish. Taylor’s campaign announced that the current lieutenant governor will debate her opponent for the Republican nomination for governor, Ohio attorney general Mike DeWine, this week. However, given the recent nasty rhetoric in their race, the campaign announced that the debate will take place in the only appropriate venue — a WWE cage match.

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    “We really feel like this is the only place where the venomous nature of our Republican nomination process can be explored and exploited,” Taylor said at a press conference, flexing her biceps and showing off a new wrestling outfit. “And Mike DeWine is gonna know the pain of my right to bear these arms in the cage match on Saturday! Oh yeah!”

    Not to be outdone, a spokesman for DeWine said that the attorney general was looking forward to the match and had recently done “at least one push up.” He also noted that while the usually bespeckled DeWine has apparently been looking for his keys the last week, he doesn’t think he’ll “lose the match to a girl” because he’s got the backing of “the good ol’ boys club.”

    When asked how the campaigns settled on a WWE cage match for what should’ve likely been a civil, low-key debate, a spokesman for the Ohio Republican Party said that president Donald Trump made several appearances in WWE matches and “look where that got him.”

    The WWE didn’t make an official statement on the match, but noted that while they do support Taylor’s right to bear her arms in the match, she’ll have to leave her assault rifles at home.

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    Travis Irvine
    Travis Irvine
    Travis Irvine is a journalist, comedian, filmmaker and unsuccessful politician. A graduate of Columbia Journalism School, his work has been featured by Vice, the Guardian, HuffPost and several other outlets. In 2007, Travis ran for mayor of Bexley, Ohio and turned the experience into a short documentary called AMERICAN MAYOR that was featured at the Cannes Film Festival and is now available Vimeo On-Demand.
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