Summer movie season officially launches this weekend with tales of sun and sand, but thanks to Logan, Fate of the Furious, Beauty and the Beast and Guardians of the Galaxy 2, it feels like summer’s been at the cinema for months now.
By comparison, the official seasonal launch lacks luster. A moderately amusing TV reboot and the 5th installment of a theme park thrill ride, it turns out, do not quite live up to the 2017 blockbuster standards set already. But who knows, maybe Wonder Woman next weekend will right the course.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Summer is the season for amusement parks, and in that spirit Disney rolls out the closest thing cinema has to a theme park ride – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.
The series began as a pretty enormous gamble, taking a popular Disneyland ride and turning it into a movie.
Brilliantly, this put the talent of Gore Verbinski behind a camera, but let’s be honest, it was Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow that made the film.
All swoozy and splishy, drunk and dodgy, hilariously rock and roll, Sparrow made all of us wish for the pirate’s life. It was fun. It was ingenious, even a bit subversive. It was nearly 15 years ago.
In the meantime, Cap’s adventures have taken on the stench of bloat.
By 2017, Depp is a has-been with a terrible drinking habit. Sure he’s still cute, but there’s something a tad pathetic about him and the consistently bad choices he makes.
As Jack Sparrow, I mean.
Obviously.
Geoffrey Rush returns as Barbosa – intriguing as always. He’s joined by Javier Bardem, arguably one of the three or four best actors working today, wasted here in an underwritten, toothless role. He plays about two-thirds of dead sea captain Salazar, blandly bent on revenge.
The accursed Salazar wants Sparrow. Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites) – son of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) – wants Sparrow, too, to help him find Poseidon’s Trident, which can break all the curses of the sea and save ol’ Dad.
Can Poseidon’s Trident put an end to this franchise?
Grade: D+
Baywatch
Did you hear about the lifeguards that fight crime?
“Wow, that sounds like a really entertaining but far-fetched TV show!”
So says Brody (Zac Efron), one of the new recruits on the super lifeguard team at Emerald Bay, and this very self-aware attitude is the main reason the big screen Baywatch works as well as it does.
Yes, the entire premise has always been a ridiculous excuse to ogle beautiful bodies, so director Seth Gordon (Horrible Bosses) wisely chooses to have some fun with that and not be stingy with the slo-mo!
Dwayne Johnson is Mitch, head of the Baywatch team and all-around King of the Beach. He’s got Stephanie (Ilfenesh Hadera) and C.J. (Kelly Rohrbach) as his veterans on the squad, while Summer (Alexandra Daddario) and Ronnie (Jon Bass) are rookies who just won their spots during open tryouts.
Brody arrives thinking he’s God’s gift to Baywatch, quickly learns some humility, and joins the team just as they’ve stumbled onto another case. Could local business tycoon Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra from TV’s Quantico) really be the biggest drug dealer on the beach?
And she might get away with it, too, if not for these lifeguards and their sexy meddling!
Grade: B-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDteZ0YrhSU
Chuck
In 1975, Chuck “The Bayonne Bleeder” Wepner was about to fight Muhammed Ali in the old Richfield Coliseum near Cleveland – then a sparkling new jewel – for the heavyweight championship, and inspire a young Sly Stallone to write a screenplay about “The Italian Stallion.”
Chuck finally gets the story of the real-life Rocky on the screen, utilizing painful honesty, subtle humor and a compelling performance from Liev Schreiber to craft a touching look at hard lessons learned.
Director Philippe Falardeau (Monsieur Lazhar, The Good Lie) gets the 70s period details just right, and surrounds Wepner’s shot at the title with cinematic versions of the cliched boxer looking for his chance to be a contender, sharply illustrating how much Wepner defined all that is celebrated about life in the ring.
Besting all expectations, Wepner’s plan to “wear (Ali) down with my face” lasted into the 15h and final round, and he became one of the few opponents to actually knock Ali to the canvas. His increased celebrity status, and the news that the Oscar-winning Rocky was based on his life, only fueled Wepner’s primal urges and accelerated a downward spiral that included drugs, divorce, and fighting live bears.
Schreiber is transformational, adopting the voice, gait and body control of a lumbering man with a good heart and great survival instincts, but a child-like self control that often betrayed him. Schreiber commands the screen without ever being showy, blending easily with an outstanding supporting cast that includes Elisabeth Moss, Naomi Watts, Ron Perlman, Jim Gaffigan, Michael Rappaport and Morgan Spector (as Stallone).
Familiar in theme but illuminating with its intimacy, Chuck is a fascinating glimpse at life imitating art, imitating life.
Grade: B+
Also opening in Columbus:
Berlin Syndrome, (R)
The Founders (NR)
The Lovers (R)
One Week and a Day (NR)
Reviews with help from George Wolf.
Read more from Hope at MADDWOLF and listen to her bi-weekly horror movie podcast, FRIGHT CLUB.