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    Ohio’s Own: Unicorn Sauce

    Those who missed out on the Starbucks unicorn beverage can find significant consolation in the knowledge that Unicorn Sauce is available locally in Columbus year-round. Unlike the Starbucks offering, the sauce is not a gimmicky limited-time sort of creation. It’s bottled by Mikey’s Late Night Slice and has been on the scene for ages.

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    Well, sort of. It’s been around for ages as “slut sauce.” The official name and theme changed to unicorns more recently (2015-ish, according to the internet). The change was in response to petitions and public shaming for the saucy language in the original moniker. Public shaming in this case would be a literal instantiation of “slut shaming,” given the former name of the sauce.

    But, moving forward, the Unicorn Sauce bottle is cute, and it promises to make everything magical. One can only hope. It makes no claims of healthfulness and can probably give the Starbucks team a run for its money in terms of interesting sounding ingredients. Case in point: liquid margarine is the first ingredient. After that comes a cavalcade of stuff like mayo, hot sauce, molasses and Ranch. The disclosed allergens include about everything: soy, eggs, milk . . . and fish. The latter comes from an anchovy paste component.

    Given the mystery mix of ingredients, it is pretty dang magical that the stuff turns out as well as it does. Fans rave about it online, mostly as a condiment for pizza. Pumpkin-colored, Unicorn Sauce probably does work on pizza. In taste tests, it comes across like a spiked n’spicy, pourable mayo. Probably weird on salads, but Unicorn sauce seems like an optimal thing for chicken wings or maybe as a sandwich spread. It would take the blandness out of just about anything, making it the ultimate story of redemption.

    And, it probably goes without saying, but just in case: no unicorns were harmed in the manufacturing of the sauce.

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    Miriam Bowers Abbott
    Miriam Bowers Abbotthttps://columbusunderground.com
    Miriam Bowers Abbott is a freelancer contributor to Columbus Underground who reviews restaurants, writes food-centric featurettes and occasionally pens other community journalism pieces.
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