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What does IT IS WHAT IT IS say about our attitude?
Are you hearing this phrase, “It is what it is,” (IIWII) more frequently? There’s evidence that not only has the parlance become a cliché, its ubiquity has become irritating.
Although IIWII has proven to be flexibly versatile in a wide range of conversational usage, it’s in danger of blending into trite meaninglessness. In a straw poll cast on Facebook yesterday I received responses that range from sacred to silly.
Some use IIWII as a statement of acceptance, a stoic recognition of the stark realism of the present situation. Others employ the wordage as a caution, i.e., to not over-react to what cannot be changed. OK, fair.
Our language is malleable, adaptable to many voices. Meaning varies with context.
Of course, non-verbal cues…smiles/smirks/eyerolls…as well as verbal inflection, will paint the picture the speaker intends. But even a single word, alone, stripped of verbs & modifiers, conveys a chameleon of communication. How many meanings can you assign to this single utterance? “Dude.”
So, what message do you take from IIWII? Acceptance? Realism, now let’s move on?
Frustration, as an inability to change a situation? Have you heard IIWII used as a cop-out? Perhaps as a rationalism, to disguise one’s laziness? Do you suspect the speaker is lame, as their toolbox of communication might be rusty, dented and small? Or, in a more esoteric application, on a spiritual level does the phrase indicate acceptance of one’s observation of perceived reality? I’ve heard, and used it myself in the context of :
“OK, let’s not dwell on it, let’s just move forward.”
Several Friends charged the phrase as being dismissive, i.e., “Whatever,” a rude conversation stone wall, indicative of a lack of imagination or commitment on behalf of the speaker. One woman suspects that men are more likely to IIWII than women, as she believes men might be quicker to dismiss, whereas women will talk among their network to crowd-source solutions to any present situation.
I credit my friend Elissa Schneider for planting this seed of discontent. Like myself, Elissa works within the realm of fundraising development, and we both circulate among a vibrant community of non-profit activists in Columbus. In our world, to hear IT IS WHAT IT IS is to hear tones of defeat. It displays a lack of vision, a non-innovative surrender to status quo, and a lack of leadership at a time when vision, innovation and leadership are in demand.
What about you? Can you re-frame your story with a shift in your vocabulary, by cleansing reactive phrases from your speech?
Might we move IIWII to It Was What It Was?
USA Today’s #1 cliche in 2004
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/2004-12-27-cliche-of-year_x.htm
Does that mean Columbus is behind the trend on cliches? ;)
Hate this phrase. My least favorite thing to hear of all time. It gets used A LOT where I work. And to me it means ‘F it. Just deal.” No solution, no compromise, no trying to work things out. Every time I hear it I have to try to use stress reducing techniques to keep from exploding in a tirade of profanity.
Great post! I always have wanted to rant on that phrase…
These days, I generally hear it as a cop-out or as a means for someone to end a conversation without explanation or discussion.
I probably shouldn’t always take it this way but it’s been said to me in a “Go f*** yourself. We’re doing it like this.” kind of way. :-)
And yes, I’ve heard it used as an acknowledgment of reality as well. Since the recession however, I’ve felt it’s become more an excuse than an acceptance of what cannot be changed.
Thanks to my many friends who offered their perspective for my local research.
I dislike cliches or “canned responses” in general, as they appear to be substitutions for thinking.
However, “It is what it is” does serve at least one particularly useful purpose, which is: a means to eliminate or diminish delusion.
I use the phrase when I detect someone trying to adjust reality to suit their needs.
Reality, when it is clearly not a matter of perspective or opinion, must be accepted as it is.
agree with your sentiments. equally infuriating as the phrase, “to each his own.” intellectual cop-out.
Heh. I actually use “to each his/her own” quite a bit when it comes to moderating debates here on CU. I admit that it’s an easy phrase to throw out there, but serves a good purpose for returning a conversation toward some sort of middleground when things get heated over differences in personal opinions rather than arguments about facts.
To each his own is a summation of “we can’t all think the same way about everything” – it’s a simple way of saying that two people may want to do things differently, and has its place.
Unlike “it is what it is” which, to me, is always used by people who don’t want to have to argue and would rather complain about what they’re “stuck” doing. I hate the phrase due to its overuse, and often its application as a cop-out to “I don’t want to argue about it” as has been echoed above.
At the end of last year when I got my cancer diagnosis and for many times during the course of radiation and chemo after the surgery, I uttered the phrase: it is what it is. This phrase was not meant as one of resignation or disgust, but one of empowerment. I was saying, no pity or anger, this is what is happening and so I must deal with it. So I still use it and it is still a source of power for me.