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YouTubeAt what point do parents need to let their children go? I get a lot of random calls and just spoke to a woman who wanted info for her daughter, who is presumably old enough to attend college. I don't have kids, so it is very possible that I'm totally wrong about this, but that struck me as a bit much.
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Parenting (now with helicopters)
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cbus11
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That is a hard question. But if I wanted my daughter to go to college I would be willing to make a phone call or two for her.
Once you have them, it is hard to let them go. I would like to think the end of college as a clean break ;), but probably not until they are married with families of their own to worry about. I think that helping them and teaching personal responsibility/self reliance are not mutually exclusive.
Posted 1 year ago # -
berdawn
near that stretch of N. High Street in the Short North
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cbus11 wrote >>
That is a hard question. But if I wanted my daughter to go to college I would be willing to make a phone call or two for her.
Once you have them, it is hard to let them go. I would like to think the end of college as a clean break ;), but probably not until they are married with families of their own to worry about. Helping them and teaching personal responsibility/self reliance are not mutually exclusive.Thanks for the insight. I worked somewhere once and had a parent call to ask about the status of his "child's" job application!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Andrew Hall
Dennison Place (The Circles)
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Just my personal observations, but I see two distinct trends:
1) "Ethnic" family backgrounds where the bonds of family and helping out are considerably stronger.
2) Blowback from a post-Boomer generation where there was a tendency for us as children just to be spun out and/or from single-parent families. Thus a desire to not do the same to one's own children.
In the case of our family, we got both. I try to strike a balance between developing a stronger sense of autonomy in our son and getting involved deeply.
A.
Posted 1 year ago # -
vestanpance
Harrison West/at work OSU
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an interesting page from the collegeboard
http://www.collegeboard.com/parents/plan/getting-ready/155044.html
Posted 1 year ago # -
Porky
C-Bus' East Side
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I work in HR and we get calls from parents all the time, checking the status of an application, to get more information about the job specs. pay, benefits, time off etc.
Times must be changing cause I would have NEVER had my mom call my employer to ask some of the stuff we get. I've noticed a real uptick in this the last couple of years, I don't know if it's a more competetive job market or what but I'm seeing it more and more.Posted 1 year ago # -
TalkingHeadsFan
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I can't stand helicopter parents. There's great social pressure out there to be one, though. (That is, you are a neglectful parent if you're NOT a helicopter parent.)
Posted 1 year ago # -
Chris Sherman
East Franklinton
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i have friend who is a professor at OSU, told me a funny story about a parent trying to argue with him over their childs failing grade. the parent was very upset, the answer was "your child needs to actually come to class and perform, then they have an opportunity to get a better grade." he was shocked that a parent would even call him. im just sick of the bubble wrap generation. i have met more and more young people who cant even do the simplest of tasks. for example change a flat tire, lift anything over 30 lbs, figure out simple mechanical things, always seem to be loosing things... if the apocalypse were to happen tomorrow, i swear most of them would parish or i will be rich in youthful minions...
Posted 1 year ago # -
AmyJ
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It's complete madness out there! When I was in HR, I would get a ton of parents calling with questions about their kid's paycheck or work schedule. (But we would also get spouses calling on behalf of their husband/wife too, which I almost found more annoying.)
The thing that bugs me now is how parents are expected to sit through every single thing kids do -- Cub Scouts, guitar lessons, basketball practice, whatever. I sign my kid up for these things so I can get a break an hour per week! I certainly don't want to get the stinkeye for ducking out during practice.
Posted 1 year ago # -
mBuckeyem
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AmyJ wrote >>
The thing that bugs me now is how parents are expected to sit through every single thing kids do -- Cub Scouts, guitar lessons, basketball practice, whatever. I sign my kid up for these things so I can get a break an hour per week! I certainly don't want to get the stinkeye for ducking out during practice.I think these scenarios are bizarre. I dropped my nephew off at basketball practice last season, and I had to ask him twice whether or not it was actually a game that night. Every single kid had at least 1 parent walking with him into the gym. I hope that this type of thing is cut out when they get into junior high (this was the 5th grade team). Imagine trying to coach a team - motivate, maybe even yell at them - when you've got an audience full of adults staring at you. I thought that someday I might like to coach my son's team, but I don't know if I could handle the scrutiny.
Posted 1 year ago # -
catnfiddle
Giant Corncob District
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Parents who insist their kids can do no wrong? Yep, I see them. Meanwhile, at least a dozen of my students have been kicked out of their parents' houses before they could finish high school. I see both extremes and they are equally disheartening.
Posted 1 year ago # -
cbus11
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I think going to a practice is kind of strange. I can't imagine a child past six wanting that.
In general parenting is a lot of work and those without children tend to not understand what goes into it. One of the biggest issues is the cell phone, when to call and when not to. There are boundaries that need to be thought out. You also have to realize that the children have a voice and most do not want to be attached at the apron strings. I think vestanpance's post has a lot of merit. If you fill out that survey with a common sense approach you will see what it gives you. I kind of wish my parents were more involved.
Posted 1 year ago # -
berdawn
near that stretch of N. High Street in the Short North
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berdawn
near that stretch of N. High Street in the Short North
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Cookie wrote >>
I once received a call from a mother because her son didn't know how to operate the phones in the dorms, several months into the school year.I am going to guess that some of the calls recieved by college administrators are from parents trying to sort out their child's bullshit. I can see a college kid telling his parents the reason why he hasn't called was the fault of the phone system (and not the parties they have been going to). Though I can't imagine a college kid who doesn't have a cell phone these days.
Posted 1 year ago #
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