here is a script that turns the wiimote into a vibrator:
#!/usr/bin/python
import cwiid
wiimote=cwiid.Wiimote()
wiimote.rumble=1
This requires a working bluetooth receiver attached to your computer (i picked up a usb one at microcenter for 20 bucks), ubuntu linux, and the cwiid libraries installed and working with the demo code (which also lets you turn on the rumble feature of the wiimote). Of course, once you have everything setup I can guarantee you won't be in the mood.
This will make it vibrate until the battery dies, the rumble thingy breaks, or you get out of range of the bluetooth. It is also quite possibly the most expensive and worthless vibrator I could possibly imagine. Keep the rubber sleeve on the wiimote, probably.
i bet with a python library that does instant messaging you could have a friend turn it on or off by im'ing you, but will be an exercise i leave up to some other enterprising (and lonely) programmer.