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How Many Five Year Olds Can You Take In A Fight?
[33 posts] [20 contributors]
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greenhouse1014
Columbus
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captain janks
south side 4 life
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are you guys seriously just finding out about this now?
Posted 4 years ago # -
vestanpance
Harrison West/at work OSU
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mightymighty
North Side
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I can only take 17
It's cos I'm nicer than most of you.
:D
who wants a hug?
Posted 4 years ago # -
Columbuzz
Grandview
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I think their estimates are off.
In further analysis of this discussion and the aforementioned site, it assumes that my opponents would be intelligent enough to mount a circular attack instead of coming at me one on one.
I think experience in fighting is a non-factor. After all, they're 5. They don't have that much experience themselves. Even playing field there.
If they attacked a la a "King of the Mountain" battle royale, I could endlessly pummel them until my arms and legs grew weak. But I guess we're assuming that they've got some wits about them and have seen some power ranger moves, so they'd attack in a circular fashion.
Taking groin shots out of the occasion is helpful, albeit it only somewhat. My groin is significantly higher than your average 5-year-old's, making groin shots difficult for them. Additionally, if my reach is longer than their kick reach and I can land solid shots, it's a moot point as they wouldn't be able to get the coveted groin shot in, anyway.
So, anyway, they're in a circle. How would I attack? I'd catch them off guard and lunge at the nearest part of the circle, landing a ridiculous blow to the face of the first kid. That would probably make the others a little more hesitant to attack at first.
I could take out probably six of them before their tiny fists began pummeling me from all directions. Maybe a couple of them jump on my back. I could easily take out those two, and the other four that could encircle me. I'm up to 12 already and I'm only a little fatigued.
They would probably back up and try some more mighty morphin stuff and regroup. I wouldn't let them and would do a running attack. Three more "out." 15 total.
They'd then swarm - 5 of them around me, kicking and punching furiously. I could take that for about 20 seconds before it gets annoying, but that's all I need to take those 5 out. I'm up to 20.
Two more jump on my back, three more kick and punch me and a fourth bites my leg. I shake the leg-biter, swing the back-riders around - avoiding the punchers - and all three go tumbling into a pile of children knocking, at best, two "out". 22.
With no one on my back and no one chewing on my calf, a few good kicks takes care of the three nearest me. 25.
The three I just threw are dazed. I attack. 28.
But now I'm tired. The same attack begins, but this time the two on my back are biting and scratching and holding on around my neck tightly. I gag while trying to shake off another leg-biter. four of them are now circling me, punching me in my thigh and everything is starting to get painful.
In a wild rush, I move across the floor, swinging wildly and only landing a couple of times. I try to kick, but the leg-biter is latched on and tiring me out. Another one takes my other leg and I'm immobile. Tiredly, I reach up to tear the little fingers from around my neck and I'm able to dislodge one, but he's wily and wraps himself around a leg, gnawing.
The world around me is starting to go black, but in a last ditch effort, I'm able to land a good, solid right cross to a tiny girl. 29.
I'm tired and I go down on my back. But as I go down, I crush the back-rider. 30.
I'm gaining back my breath, but I'm tired and the swarms of children have rushed on top of me, kicking and punching all over my body now. Stomach, eyes and face. I cover up, but land a couple of blows. 31.
Fade to black.
There you have it, I say 31. They tell me 16. Whatever.
Posted 4 years ago # -
Coremodels
Really close to Explorer's Club.
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LOL! I appreciate the analysis, and agree that the numbers may be somewhat low. One of the big factors is simply going to be size/strength, as with a punt style kick or overhead throw I could send the small children yards away with one move, limiting the number who are involved in the direct conflict at all times. Additionally, they're light enough you could literally grasp one around, and wring it's neck...while still punching with that arm, using the head as a battering ram against the other toddlers.
Posted 4 years ago # -
greenhouse1014
Columbus
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yeah, I think the key to the whole thing is to actually use one of them as a weapon. Aside from the psychological factor, you could almost never run out of weapons.
Posted 4 years ago # -
John Ross
SoCo
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Daz wrote Seriously, sometimes I'm totally in love with the internet.
http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/
I can take 31. :D
I'd be willing to try to decipher the algorithm the sites uses to calculate the number. I agree: Using one as a weapon is probably a big factor in the total.
Posted 4 years ago # -
Columbuzz
Grandview
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greenhouse1014 wrote yeah, I think the key to the whole thing is to actually use one of them as a weapon. Aside from the psychological factor, you could almost never run out of weapons.
It might actually be difficult to use one as a weapon. If they're knocked unconscious, it's dead weight, so it would be akin to striking at someone with a dead grouper. Very tiring very quickly.
But if they are conscious, they bite and scratch. And, again, heavy. Tires you out too fast.
Best way to use one as a weapon would be to do some centrifugal force action and take the weight off you for as long as possible. Just grab one by a left or right wrist and then a left or right ankle (respectively) and spin in circles. Conscious or not, they can't fight back when they're being whipped around in a circle through the air, the centrifugal force carrying their arms, legs and even head outward.
So his or her arms and legs are stretching out and your spinning wildly. I would probably try to throw the kid down and up in a circle, kind of like a hammer throw. You might even be able to just hang on to one of their ankles at that point with both hands for more control (plus, three appendages out there for the easy knockout).
So you're essentially swinging the kid like a bat, and you should be able to take out a few before they get the timing down and are able to lunge at your knees. But, you throw the one you're spinning, taking out (optomistically) four other kids. Then grab ahold of the kid that just attacked your leg and repeat.
That would be, in my opinion, the best way to use them as a weapon for the longest amount of time without tiring out.
And hey, if you're large enough and strong enough, you might be able to do a two-fer and come at the pesky little bastards as if you had your very own customized and kindergarten-sized nunchucks.
Note to self: If I continue talking about children on this particular thread... I should change my signature...
Posted 3 years ago #
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