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Columbus Underground Messageboard » General Columbus Discussion » Everyday Chit Chat
Ask Dr. Tracy- I love this website
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hazy stars
The Brauhaus
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HAHA this site is funny.
What Normal Women Want:
Marriage
Children
Girlfriends
Family ties
Laughs
Sympathy
Romance
Shopping
Presents
Attention
Affection
Kindness
Sex
Agreement
What Witches, Bitches, and Crazy Ladies Need:
To use you for their own agenda without caring what happens to you
A man to make their lives okay
Everything all at once
Unconditional love
An endless party
If you're attracted to a woman who looks like one of the classic witches, bitches, or crazy ladies, or if she seems to have a neurotic need, stay away. If she's really sexy and coming on to you, it's hard to say no, but you can reprogram that first reaction. Instead of thinking, "I wonder what she'd be like in bed," try thinking, "Whoops, there goes trouble for somebody, but it isn't going to be me!"
Posted 4 years ago # -
lifeliberty
Here
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sounds about right
Posted 4 years ago # -
lifeliberty
Here
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that would be under "agreement' for normal women
Posted 4 years ago # -
enzo
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I thought this was funny:
The son gets a coin from his mother for popcorn but comes back empty-handed, so his mother walks over to the machine with him to help. She is careful to put the right coin in the right slot, and she even shakes the machine, but no popcorn comes out. She turns away but he pulls her back, his heart set on popcorn. "The popcorn is right there," he cries, "I can see it, and we put the money in, so why can't you do something to get it?"
His mother gently explains why she can't help. "I'm afraid there's nothing you can do and nothing I can do; the machine is broken and the only one who can fix it is a popcorn machine repairman."
Posted 4 years ago # -
roy
Downtown
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hazy stars wrote HAHA this site is funny.
What Normal Women Want:
Marriage
Children
Girlfriends
Family ties
Laughs
Sympathy
Romance
Shopping
Presents
Attention
Affection
Kindness
Sex
Agreement
What Witches, Bitches, and Crazy Ladies Need:
To use you for their own agenda without caring what happens to you
A man to make their lives okay
Everything all at once
Unconditional love
An endless party
If you're attracted to a woman who looks like one of the classic witches, bitches, or crazy ladies, or if she seems to have a neurotic need, stay away. If she's really sexy and coming on to you, it's hard to say no, but you can reprogram that first reaction. Instead of thinking, "I wonder what she'd be like in bed," try thinking, "Whoops, there goes trouble for somebody, but it isn't going to be me!"
From list one I pick 'sex' and from list two I pick 'an endless party.'
I believe that makes me a normal bitch.
Posted 4 years ago # -
mightymighty
North Side
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Posted 4 years ago # -
KSquared
Literally Hell
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mightymighty wrote Nonononooo.
Dan Savage is way better.
hands-down.
Santorum!
Posted 4 years ago # -
hazy stars
The Brauhaus
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enzo wrote I discovered I cannot be with someone who does not like EDM. I am sure that is on the crazy list under unconditional love.... :lol:
Edit: I'm dumb.
Posted 4 years ago # -
hazy stars
The Brauhaus
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I'm uber bored and ate way too much ice cream to be able to fall asleep. For pure humor, I've returned to this site.
The Checklist
Even if a new person passes the Commitment-Mindedness checks and you feel intensely attracted, keep your head. Never go out with someone blindly and assume they're perfect until events prove otherwise. Enjoy being with them, but keep gathering information. If you're headed toward a committed relationship with someone, you'll need to have answers to all of the following questions.
1. Are they honest? When you're with them, notice whether or not they lie to other people. (If so, odds are they'll lie to you.)
2. Are they responsible? Do they take good care of their plants, pets, and children if any?
3. Do they show up when they say they will, or call if they're running late? Could you count on them to be there if you needed them?
4. Do they have lots of old friends? What do the friends say about him or her?
5. Are they on speaking terms with ex-lovers and/or ex-spouses?
6. Are they on loving terms with their parents and siblings?
7. Do they seem financially stable, or are they wildly extravagant, or always scrambling to pay their bills, or into gambling?
8. Do they take good care of their health, or do they drink too much or need drugs all the time?
9. Do they get along with your friends?
10. Do they appreciate you? Do they express their feelings to you? Are they willing to spend a lot of time with you?
11. Do you feel secure about them in the relationship, or do you worry a lot about them straying?
12. Do you feel happy and safe when you're just hanging out together, or are there a lot of awkward moments, or have you ever felt physically threatened?
13. Do they show clear signs of being capable of sharing?
14. Would you consider spending the rest of your life with them?
15. Are they okay just the way they are, or are you going to have to make a lot of "improvements"?
Posted 4 years ago # -
hazy stars
The Brauhaus
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That ridiculousness is followed by this:
Tests
The idea of the checklist is to find these things out BEFORE you're madly in love, so that if the answers are turning up negative, you can get out without a broken heart.
So speed up the process by arranging little tests. Lend him or her a book and see if it's returned without you having to ask. Ask him/her to feed your goldfish or water your plants while you're away and see if everything's alive or dead when you get home. Make dates far into the future and don't call to remind him or her when the time comes. See if he or she remembers.
Call on them if you need help with something, and see if they volunteer to help or tell you they're busy or it's your problem. You can quickly find whether you can depend on them or not.
Call their most recent ex and have a girl-to-girl or guy-to-guy chat. It may feel awkward, but it's actually easy, and you may be amazed at what you learn. Just say, "Hi, I'm Norm NewGuy (or Norma Next), and I know you were together with Perfect Patty (or Tom Terrific) for quite a while. I'm starting to get pretty involved with her (him) and I wondered if you had any words of wisdom or warning for me, off the record..." Try it. You have absolutely nothing to lose.
Pass on anyone you can't trust or about whom you hear horrible stories from more than one source. Don't waste time with someone with whom you wouldn't want to share a checkbook or a credit card. Forget about anyone who is abusive, cold, critical, uncommunicative or unkind. Just get out, quickly and efficiently. (See "Ending It.")
I don't want you to waste a year of your life dating someone and then find out that they're crazy or married or a flake or a drug addict or under indictment.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is this for real? Do people actually put others through these crazy tests?
Posted 4 years ago # -
osulew
My house...in the middle of my street
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hazy stars wrote That ridiculousness is followed by this:
Tests
The idea of the checklist is to find these things out BEFORE you're madly in love, so that if the answers are turning up negative, you can get out without a broken heart.
So speed up the process by arranging little tests. Lend him or her a book and see if it's returned without you having to ask. Ask him/her to feed your goldfish or water your plants while you're away and see if everything's alive or dead when you get home. Make dates far into the future and don't call to remind him or her when the time comes. See if he or she remembers.
Call on them if you need help with something, and see if they volunteer to help or tell you they're busy or it's your problem. You can quickly find whether you can depend on them or not.
Call their most recent ex and have a girl-to-girl or guy-to-guy chat. It may feel awkward, but it's actually easy, and you may be amazed at what you learn. Just say, "Hi, I'm Norm NewGuy (or Norma Next), and I know you were together with Perfect Patty (or Tom Terrific) for quite a while. I'm starting to get pretty involved with her (him) and I wondered if you had any words of wisdom or warning for me, off the record..." Try it. You have absolutely nothing to lose.
Pass on anyone you can't trust or about whom you hear horrible stories from more than one source. Don't waste time with someone with whom you wouldn't want to share a checkbook or a credit card. Forget about anyone who is abusive, cold, critical, uncommunicative or unkind. Just get out, quickly and efficiently. (See "Ending It.")
I don't want you to waste a year of your life dating someone and then find out that they're crazy or married or a flake or a drug addict or under indictment.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is this for real? Do people actually put others through these crazy tests?
I put all prospective love interests through a field sobriety test. If they pass, they fail. :wink:
I kid, I kid...
This site is completely lame.
Posted 4 years ago # -
bonniefide
NE Side
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that website is like the movie shallow hal.... only serious......
Posted 4 years ago # -
brothermarcus
West Siiiide
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The Checklist
1. Are they honest? I'm a little too honest, and I find fire erotic.
2. Are they responsible? I'm not a drunk, I don't f*** other women, I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be!
3. Do they show up when they say they will, or call if they're running late? Could you count on them to be there if you needed them? If I have a phone number, otherwise I'm a pretty punctual dude
4. Do they have lots of old friends? What do the friends say about him or her? Yes, they're all married and having kids now though, they like me sometimes I think :)
5. Are they on speaking terms with ex-lovers and/or ex-spouses? some of them, when they take their meds
6. Are they on loving terms with their parents and siblings? yes
7. Do they seem financially stable, or are they wildly extravagant, or always scrambling to pay their bills, or into gambling? I gambled with financial stability by getting a degree in Social and Behavioral Sciences
8. Do they take good care of their health, or do they drink too much or need drugs all the time? I'm healthy, need to lose the gut and man-boobs - they're shrinking with diet and exercise.
9. Do they get along with your friends? Only if your friends are zombies
10. Do they appreciate you? Do they express their feelings to you? Are they willing to spend a lot of time with you? Feelings are best stuffed deep inside, only to be unleashed by sour mash whiskey or Dr. Phil
11. Do you feel secure about them in the relationship, or do you worry a lot about them straying? I can't even stay in an apartment for more than a year!
12. Do you feel happy and safe when you're just hanging out together, or are there a lot of awkward moments, or have you ever felt physically threatened? I apologized for the White Castle incident, we settled out of court... why can't you let it go?
13. Do they show clear signs of being capable of sharing? There's room in my burrito tent for two, sortof ;)
14. Would you consider spending the rest of your life with them? That's a trick question, you could have a schizophrenic break 10 years down the road and I'd be stuck with you if I said it was FOREVER! :twisted:
15. Are they okay just the way they are, or are you going to have to make a lot of "improvements"? I'm not getting implants if that's what you're talking about
Posted 4 years ago # -
enzo
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Did you guys make it to this portion..
Since the trickiest part of kinky sex is getting started, here are some guidelines which will help.
Safe And Sane Kinky Sex Rules
1. Talk about what you're going to do ahead of time, and be sure that it turns you both on.
2. Plan ahead, even deciding on special music. Try out your equipment ahead of time. Test everything, and make sure it's in an easy-to-reach place so you don't fumble around in the dark.
3. Don't spend a lot of money trying kinky sex. In the beginning, thick yarn is just as good as ropes or chains, is less scary, and can be just as exciting. Keep a scissors handy to cut the yarn quickly instead of trying to undo stuck knots.
T4. ry different roles and different kinds of kinky sex like silks, leathers, feathers, spanking. You don't want to get fixated at one level and never be able to enjoy sex any other way.
5. Never indulge in sado-masochistic or bondage sex play when you're angry with each other or when your relationship is having other problems which could run over into your erotic games.
6. Never leave a bound or gagged person alone, and never block a person's breathing passages.
Never cross the line into real pain or hurting. Be sure to agree on a "code word" that means STOP, and always stop instantly when you hear it.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Never cross the line into real pain or hurting????
Posted 4 years ago # -
roy
Downtown
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enzo wrote Did you guys make it to this portion..
Since the trickiest part of kinky sex is getting started, here are some guidelines which will help.
Safe And Sane Kinky Sex Rules
1. Talk about what you're going to do ahead of time, and be sure that it turns you both on.
2. Plan ahead, even deciding on special music. Try out your equipment ahead of time. Test everything, and make sure it's in an easy-to-reach place so you don't fumble around in the dark.
3. Don't spend a lot of money trying kinky sex. In the beginning, thick yarn is just as good as ropes or chains, is less scary, and can be just as exciting. Keep a scissors handy to cut the yarn quickly instead of trying to undo stuck knots.
T4. ry different roles and different kinds of kinky sex like silks, leathers, feathers, spanking. You don't want to get fixated at one level and never be able to enjoy sex any other way.
5. Never indulge in sado-masochistic or bondage sex play when you're angry with each other or when your relationship is having other problems which could run over into your erotic games.
6. Never leave a bound or gagged person alone, and never block a person's breathing passages.
Never cross the line into real pain or hurting. Be sure to agree on a "code word" that means STOP, and always stop instantly when you hear it.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Never cross the line into real pain or hurting????
Actually this is the only sensible thing I've read from that goofy website.
Posted 4 years ago #
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